


Observation, Analysis, Conclusion

by ThirdRateDuelist



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Fluff, High School, Humor, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, One Shot, With A Twist, dog jokes but also cat jokes, oh and one swan joke, thats equality, we're branching out today kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 00:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22006966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThirdRateDuelist/pseuds/ThirdRateDuelist
Summary: "Still peddling that occult nonsense," Kaiba drawls, and Joey has a very bad feeling about this. "Grow up. Magic isn't real, and I'll prove it.""Kaiba, don't-"Then, to Joey's horror, Kaiba unstoppers the stupid vial and downs the love potion in one gulp.---Kaiba drinks a love potion intended to make him like Joey. Unsure if it worked or not, Joey observes his behaviour.
Relationships: Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler/Kaiba Seto
Comments: 31
Kudos: 380





	Observation, Analysis, Conclusion

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [（授权翻译）观察，分析，结论](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26101423) by [minorin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minorin/pseuds/minorin)



> I've had this idea for a twist on the love spell/potion concept floating around in my head for literal years, but I've never had the motivation to write it until now. KaiJou seemed like the perfect pairing for it. 
> 
> Why am I using dub!names this time? so I can make a single throwaway british bakura joke

_Same shit every day_ , Joey thinks as he stumbles into the classroom for chemistry and receives the first of his daily admonishments for lateness. Try as he might - and he really does try, sometimes - Joey has only ever managed to make it in on time when he's spent the night at Yugi's, his friend always managing to drag him along with an entirely too infectious cheery smile for another day of shit Joey can barely focus on. His teachers all say he could get much better grades if he just 'stopped daydreaming' and 'applied himself.' Joey would give it another shot if any of them ever bothered to tell him _how_ exactly he's supposed to do that, because he's been trying by himself and it sure as hell isn't working. 

Joey high fives Tristan and ignores Duke's wink on his way to the back of the class and plonks himself into his seat with a grunt. This morning he'd made it to the end of his street before realising he'd forgotten the homework he'd actually managed to finish for once. Then he'd made it to the end of his street a second time, only to realise he'd also forgotten to pack away any of the stationery he'd used for it. Forget where his own mouth was if he didn't yap so much, Kaiba would say. Has said. Will probably say again when his dog-joke ability is off cooldown. 

Kaiba's a bit of a hypocrite, though, because he's just as talkative as Joey is. He's also a huge asshole. "Ah, Wheeler," drawls Kaiba from the seat next to him, not bothering to look up from whatever hoity-toity, incomprehensible rubbish he's got his long nose stuck into today. It's tradition at this point that Joey will roll into class late and if Kaiba is there he'll greet him with brand new insult. "The stench of rotten eggs and bird shit from the nest on your head preceded you." 

Top notch witticism. Hair is a frequent target, but Kaiba's creativity prevents any subject matter from getting stale. "Better than stinking of dysentery, you bloody asshole," Joey rewards him with some snark of his own, and he's pretty proud of that one. He wonders if Kaiba also brainstorms insults for him in his spare time, because it never sounds rehearsed but he sure does always have something ready. 

Joey sits at the back of the class on account of all the science teachers wanting them to sit in register order for some reason. Kaiba sits at the back of the class on account of him wanting to, and Seto Kaiba always gets what he wants. Works out for both of them, Joey guesses. Kaiba doesn't get anyone peering over his paranoid shoulders but Joey, who he doesn't care about, and Joey wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway so he might as well be distracted by Kaiba. 

"' _Bloody?'_ Tch. Someone's been spending too much time with Bakura," scoffs Kaiba, still not looking at him, and one of these days Joey is going to make him look up. It's something of a mission. Time's running out to do it too; he's got less than a year before graduation, before Kaiba fucks off back to richie land, never to be bothered by the peons again. Why he's even at Domino High in the first place is something Joey refuses to admit he's curious about. 

"Someone else has been spending too much time huffing his own farts," Joey retorts, and the teacher tells them both to be quiet over the assorted mess of giggling and groaning they're causing their classmates to produce. Yugi has a different first period, so there's no withering look aimed at the pair of them - well, there is, but not from anyone Joey cares about. Duke is giving Kaiba an incredibly annoyed look. At least Joey got the last word in this time.

Class restarts properly and the teacher's voice drones across the room to tell the assembled hordes all about ionic and covalent bonding. Sneaking a glance, Joey is annoyed to find that Kaiba just looks a tiny bit amused, one corner of his mouth threatening to move. He's still focused on the book in his left hand, a large hardback volume with pages hefty enough to thicken soup with. (God, Joey is hungry.) The cover shows a flat, colourful drawing that Joey admires but doesn't make much sense of, and a long title with the words _Metaphysical_ and _Nietzsche_ and _Modernism_ in it _._ It's really not fair, how Kaiba can spend all his classes reading unrelated shit and not get in trouble, but unfortunately Kaiba still maintains his grades, miscellaneous reading in the left hand and note-taking pen in the right. He's not just pretending to read either, if the eyes that flick back and forth across the pages and occasionally glance at the whiteboard are any indication. Occasionally they stop or reread to take something in, and the idea of Kaiba finding something difficult is a little strange. He's top of all his classes, a fucking CEO, and you'd think he'd be shit at gym but he isn't, but there must be _something_ he can't do, _something_ the mighty Seto Kaiba has trouble with-

Kaiba's eyes aren't looking at the book anymore, his piercing gaze focused on him. Joey’s been caught, and feels like he’s being scanned by blue lasers, assessing his threat level. "Do you _want_ something, deadbeat?" Kaiba asks in a low tone, face unmoving. 

"Yeah, for you to _fuck off_ ," Joey hisses back, more of an edge in his voice than usual. Not his best, not by a long shot, but he's been caught off guard and immediately wrenches his gaze towards the front of the classroom where the stuff he's supposed to be ruminating on is happening. A glance at the clock tells him he was staring at Kaiba for around ten uninterrupted minutes. 

It worked though, Joey realises in an epiphany. He'd made Kaiba look up. Huh. Who'd have known it was as easy as just staring at him for a bit longer than usual? Usually Joey only looks at Kaiba for short time spans, around a minute each time, so as not to let anyone think he's being weird. He'll have to try ten minutes again some time. 

"Eureka," he whispers to himself, a tiny grin on his face as he gets to copying down chemical diagrams and notes to not-understand later. 

"Quiet, mutt," Kaiba whispers back. 

_Yup_ , Joey thinks, _same shit every day._

_***_

At the beginning of lunch, Joey's heading to the cafeteria when he hears the sound of Tristan shouting under the hubbub of bustling students. Ready to provide backup, he follows the noise to the old lab that the teachers don't like to use except for smoking, because no one's put a computer in it yet. It's a musty room, with sticky wooden countertops that would be far nicer than the new ones if anyone cleaned them, and still fully functional. Joey knows Kaiba uses it for doing work where he's less likely to be disturbed, because, like the teachers, Joey also comes here to smoke sometimes. Yeah, he knows he's young and it's bad for him, but everyone needs something to relax. And sometimes he needs a smoke and Kaiba needs to work at the same time. It's the only time they're ever silent around each other. 

Opening the door, Joey finds an enraged Tristan and an unrepentant Duke and Ryou. They've got a Bunsen burner going with a beaker on a tripod, full of clear, bubbling liquid; another few beakers half-filled with more disappointingly boring looking liquids; and an enormous book that looks like Merlin himself spilt tea on it at some point, but Joey recognises it as Ryou's diary. He's into all kinds of witchy shit. 

Tristan and Duke freeze upon seeing him, but Ryou doesn't. "Joey! How wonderful to see you! And at just the right time," he greets, approaching with a smile that's completely non-threatening. 

"Mornin' all," Joey says, gaze flicking between Tristan's nervous face and Ryou's serene politeness that is currently making its way into his personal space. He doesn't look at Duke, because he doesn't like him and pretends he doesn't exist whenever possible. "What's the racket abo-" 

"Joey ru-" manages Tristan, when it's already too late. 

"Terribly sorry about this!" beams Ryou before reaching forward and yanking out what feels like half of Joey's scalp but is actually just a few hairs. 

Joey, understandably, has a few questions about this. "What the fuck was that!" he screeches as Ryou steps away daintily and Tristan moves over just as swiftly to stop Joey's reflexive lunging. Joey tries not to physically fight people much anymore, but sometimes instinct gets the better of him, like when someone has just pulled some of his hair out for some fucking reason. 

He can't physically chase Ryou down, but he can still complain. "Tristan lemme go, what the fuck!" Joey yells as he wrestles to get free, but ultimately only able to watch as Ryou moves back to his concoction and carefully drops the hair into the bubbling… whatever it is. Joey has a bad feeling about this. "I swear to God Ryou, you better not be wearing the fucking millenium ring again," he growls. 

"Nope, just me," Ryou assures him and pulls up his shirt to reveal a distinct absence of cursed Egyptian amulet. Duke eyes the absence before shutting off the burner. Fucking pervert. 

"No, no, you decided to try making a love potion all by yourself!" steams Tristan, and _what?_

Duke and Ryou are giggling while stirring their 'love potion' with a glass rod. "C'mon Tristan, it's not gonna hurt anyone," Duke attempts to 'reason' with Joey's rightfully enraged friend. 

Joey himself has now stopped struggling as he concentrates instead on trying to understand the situation. "Love potion?" he questions, and refuses to feel stupid. He's certainly encountered much more impossible things - they've all had very strange teenage years - but still. _Love potion_. Joey would like to believe they're not serious. _This is stupid_ says one part of his brain. _Your best friend has the spirit of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh in his head_ says another. 

"Oh, I wouldn't call it love," Ryou says cheerily, still stirring. "More like _like-like_. Sexual attraction, positive feelings, mild to severe obsession…" 

"So yeah. Love potion," finishes Duke. 

Joey stares at the boiling liquid, swirling with his own hair. "For _me?_ " he squeaks. "Why?" 

Apparently satisfied he won't kill their currently on-probation friends, Tristan releases him. "I've tried telling them it's not right, but-" 

"It's not _for_ you, you're not going to be drinking it," Duke clarifies, grabbing a rack with three vials. "You're the object, for lack of a better word."

"Yes," agrees Ryou, grabbing the hot beaker with a pair of tongs and carefully pouring the contents out into the vials while Joey splutters at the situation. "It's Kaiba who's going to drink it."

Tristan has to grab Joey as he lunges again. "Tristan let me _go_ I have something I need to _deal with_ ," Joey says in the most level voice he can manage at the news that two people - well, Duke doesn't really count - one person he considered a friend is apparently trying to poison Kaiba into falling in love with him. Or in sexual attraction, positive feelings, obsession, _whatever._ Duke stoppers the vials. Joey wonders why his life is like this. 

"Do you promise you won't kill them?" Tristan asks. 

"Pinky swear on my life," responds Joey, and the moment he's released he hurtles over the table and knocks the rack to the floor with a smash, sending broken glass and hot liquid everywhere. Two out of three are taken care of, but one resilient stoppered vial refuses to crack, instead ricocheting across the floor with an improbable energy, until it rolls, exhausted, to the now open door and settles at - who else? - Kaiba's feet. 

He eyes it like it's a rat on the subway, then the room's current occupants: Joey, lying on his stomach on the counter with his arms stretched out; Ryou and Duke, clothes wet, drenched in anticipation; Tristan, who has his hands up in surrender. The wreckage that they've made. 

Kaiba's grip tightens on his satchel strap. "It seems," he says, voice somehow threatening, "that I will not be getting any work done in here after all."

 _Nobody_ _say anything_ Joey thinks desperately. _Nobody say anything or we're all fucked_. 

"THEY MADE A LOVE POTION DON'T DRINK IT," Joey shrieks despite himself before clamping his hands over his mouth. Like _Kaiba_ was going to see a strange vial on the floor and automatically have to chug it down. 

Staring at the object at his feet with an air of superiority, as if it was one of those destinies he doesn't believe in, Kaiba raises those perfect eyebrows of his. "...Love potion," he says flatly, and his eyes flick back up at Joey, like this is _his_ fault, before returning to the offending vial. Joey mentally curses the fact that he's currently on his stomach splayed across a table - how does he always manage to make himself look like an idiot in front of Kaiba? 

"It was them!" adds Tristan helpfully, throwing an accusative point at Ryou and Duke. "Destroy it!" 

Not the best ending to this little nightmare - he'd have preferred Kaiba not to know at all - but Joey is relieved by the knowledge that Kaiba will now pick up the stupid love potion, pour the contents down a drain, and call them all morons for the trouble. 

As that would be the logical thing to happen, it doesn't. Instead, Kaiba picks up the vial of clear liquid, and gives them all a look which says there are no words for how ridiculous he finds them. "Still peddling that occult nonsense," he drawls, and Joey has a _very_ bad feeling about this. "Grow up. Magic isn't _real_ , and I'll prove it."

"Kaiba, don't-" 

Then Kaiba unstoppers the vial and downs the contents in one gulp. He pulls a face, extracts a hair from his mouth with disgust, and wipes it off onto Tristan's shoulder for standing too close to him. 

"Nothing will happen," he declares, placing the empty vial and stopper on the nearest surface. "You're all morons."

 _Well_ , Joey thinks desperately as Kaiba turns on his heel and strides out of the room, _I was half right_. 

It’s rather funny that Kaiba thinks they’re morons, seeing as he doesn’t know what ingredients were in the concoction he just drank to prove a point, but Joey doesn’t feel like laughing. He looks up at Ryou and Duke with a glare, and both of them are entirely too smug. Ryou packs his enormous diary into his bag, where the contents rustle and clink like metal. "I'm going to go grab lunch. See you," he says, vacating the room before Joey can recover from his shock and throttle him. Tristan pursues him and Joey hopes he acts in his stead. Duke doesn't move quite so fast, so Joey manages to grab him by his lapels for some well-deserved shouting. 

"What," he hisses, " _have you done?_ " It's not a great question, but Joey has to say something. The alternative is to just start punching, and he's been doing so well not doing that. 

Duke looks remarkably like a cat that's just been found out for wrangling a second dinner. "It'll only last a few days tops, if it even works!" he whines, not bothering to give Joey the effort of wiggling. Rude. "Ryou found the recipe online, it probably won't actually do anything, we just thought it was a funny idea. You're always going at each other! It's annoying!" Duke pouts. "Make him embarrassed for once." 

He's still mad, but at this news Joey relaxes his hold slightly, even if he is more than a little miffed by the implication that being attracted to him would be embarrassing. "So it's just some random online thing? Not some… ancient Egyptian magic?" he surmises. That's a lot better. That sounds a lot more like listening to a Black Sabbath song backwards, and a lot less like it could actually work. 

Duke nods. "Yeah, that's what Ryou said. It wouldn't affect the way _you_ felt, just Kaiba," he assures Joey, like that makes it all better. "You'd just get some kind of symbol on your body apparently. To mark you as the… love interest."

Narrowing his eyes, Joey releases Duke. "This better not have worked," he hisses at him, "and you can clean up the mess." Then he whirls around to go get lunch. He was already hungry, and all the excitement is making his stomach growl. 

Joey and Tristan whisper the situation to Yugi and Téa over their cafeteria bench. Apparently Ryou had told Tristan much the same as Duke had told Joey. Their listeners are appalled, Téa furious that anyone would try and manipulate anyone's feelings like that, and Yugi agreeing but sympathetic to their reasoning. "Kaiba can be awfully harsh to you, Joey," he ponders, "but so are you to him, sometimes." At seeing Joey's indignant expression he adds, "Obviously this isn't the way to act about it, though! Téa's right, it's a horrible thing to do to another person. I'm just saying I understand why they did it. They had your interests at heart, Joey."

Joey ponders that. He has no idea what to do with that information, that Ryou and Duke care about him to the point of pulling something like this. Still, they should know better. Joey wonders if he should tell them he actually enjoys Kaiba's antagonism a little bit. Any attention is good attention, isn't that how the saying goes? He doesn't want Kaiba getting all sappy on him. That would just be weird. That wouldn't be the Kaiba he knows and - _heh_ \- loves. 

The small group looks around the bustling cafeteria surreptitiously. Kaiba isn't there. He rarely is - dine among the noisy peasants? Don't be stupid. Joey takes bits from everyone else's lunches. They pretend like they don't notice, and he pretends like he doesn't know its charity. 

"There's nothing we can really do, is there?" Téa huffs. "Kaiba doesn't believe in magic so we can't persuade him to try breaking it, and it'll wear off in a few days anyway."

"If it works." Joey has to add the caveat. He's clinging to it. 

"If it works."

"...I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Yugi says nervously, and Joey's hand tenses around Yugi's off-brand soda. He _hates_ waiting. 

***

After lunch, Joey has physics and math. Both of them are with Kaiba, and Joey's relieved to find that there is absolutely no change in his behaviour. He's smug, superior, and rude - the same as ever. Joey realises that they never told Kaiba who the potion was for or why, and is thankful, because he really doesn't think he could handle it if Kaiba decided to insult him about that. But it doesn't matter, because Kaiba is acting like he always does - not a hint of fluttering eyelashes or swooning - so Joey is free to live his existence as a person Kaiba doesn't have an unwilling crush on. Joey has never been so happy for Kaiba to be right about something. 

He tells his friends the good news, and leaves school with a spring in his step. Usually, Joey would follow them to whatever destination they thought up: the game shop, the arcade, a park, etc. As long as it means he doesn’t have to go home, he’s happy. Not today though. Today, Joey’s got special plans. 

Serenity slams into Joey the moment he exits the gates. It's been too long, as always, and two buses later they're at the beach. Joey and Serenity's high schools have blessed them by having their autumn breaks on alternating weeks, and they're going to use that advantage, October weather or no. Joey won't get in the water, wouldn't even if the weather was hot, not after Marik. A pool maybe, but not the ocean, and Joey will always resent him for that. One day he'll be able to get back in, but for now he has to content himself with sitting on the sand, watching the waves crash on the shore. He _will_ get back in one day. The beach belongs to him and his sister, it's their safe place, and no asshole with a mind control rod and a death game is going to change that, not if Joey fucking Wheeler has anything to say about it. 

"Think fast," says Serenity before dumping sand down the neck of his shirt, giggling, and Joey reflects that it's the ones you love most who can hurt you the worst. 

Two can play at that game, though. "You little shit!" he yells, digging his hands into the wet sand to throw at her face. "Ugh, it itches," he grumbles, shrugging his blazer off and getting to work on his shirt buttons. 

Serenity spits out sand with _plegh_ noises and wisely decides to ceasefire. "You know something, Joey?" she sighs, dragging her fingers across the surface of the beach. 

Joey groans as he unbuttons. "Don't fucking say it I swea-" 

"I don't like sand," Serenity confesses dramatically. "It's coarse, and rough, and irritating. And it gets-" 

Serenity is cut off by a fresh batch of irritating beach dirt to the face. The air is, once again, filled with _plegh_ noises. "-Everywhere," she finishes, spitting sand from her mouth, but then she notices something. "Joe, you got a tattoo?!" Serenity yells, bouncing forward to lean on her fists as she examines Joey's exposed back. "Since when?! What does it mean? How did you even get it? Why didn't you tell me?!" she barrages him with questions that he can't answer, because he has no idea what she's talking about. 

"Sis, what the fu- frig are you talking about? I don't have a tattoo," he says bemusedly, whirling around to look at her and check for signs of sun damage. Is she seeing things? Are her eyes acting up again? Joey is automatically in worrywart big brother mode. "Are you okay?" 

Leaning back on her haunches, Serenity looks unimpressed. "I'm fine, Joey, and I know the word 'fuck.' I'm _thirteen_ , not three. And what's that thing then? Right in the middle of your back!" She grabs him and spins him around to prod him, presumably on the offending mark. "Hey, it feels… weird? It's all raised and... strangely smooth."

"I don't know… take a picture so I can see?" 

A click of Serenity's Polaroid 600 Taz and five minutes later - Joey tries not to be jealous of the tech, it's not like he _needs_ a camera shaped like a Looney Tunes character - and Joey is staring at the raised red lump of skin in the middle of his back, right along his spine. It's a small perfect circle, with a line that curves around the underside but abandons the shape as it reaches up each side in a U, the tips of either end leaning outwards. He squints at the image. It doesn't look much like a tattoo to him, but as he already knows it isn't that, he's still bewildered. 

"It looks like a brand," Serenity says, and that's not helpful either. 

"Think I'd notice if someone stuck a hot poker on me," counters Joey, disturbed and fascinated by the blemish that's appeared on his skin. It looks so… perfect.

"I dunno, you can be pretty unobservant," Serenity points out, and she ignores the indignant _hey_. "Have you fallen asleep in public with your shirt off lately?" 

"Ha ha, very funny." Joey reaches behind him to try and touch the area. He finds it around level with his heart, and strokes over it with his thumb. It just feels like a patch of raised, smooth skin, and he doesn't know what he expected. "Maybe it's an allergic reaction of some kind?" he suggests. Joey has no idea what it would be a reaction to, but it's the only thing he can think of. 

"Yeah, I guess that must be it," Serenity agrees reluctantly, and that makes Joey feel better. His sister is smarter than him, he's always thought so, so if she can't think of anything else that's probably what it is. Just some kind of weird allergic reaction. A doctor might be able to make sense of it, but _pfft_ , who’s got the money or the time for that?

Slowly, they return to more comfortable conversation topics - movies, card games, high school, boys. Serenity is flip-flopping on boys, and Joey insists that she doesn't have to make up her mind on anything yet. After all, Joey's still flip-flopping on boys too. Joey knows he likes boys and girls around the same amount, but calculating that amount is difficult. Boys are supposed to be off limits, so if he can't like them he guesses he doesn't like girls either. Not that there’s anything wrong with liking boys, it just feels like one of those things other people are allowed and Joey isn’t. Whatever, it’s too much to think about on top of everything else right now. He shifts the conversation back to card games instead, the question of the mark on his back still niggling at him. 

Joey and Serenity sit together on the beach for what feels like only minutes, but soon the sun is playing chicken with the ocean and it's time for them both to leave, Serenity to stay at Téa's place - she really is an angel - and Joey to head back home. He won't tell his old man that Serenity is in town. He doesn't need to bring up the mere suggestion of mom, and have that reaction to deal with. Thankfully he’s not around when Joey gets in. 

Joey's lying in bed with his legs and arms wrapped around the blanket, almost asleep nestled into the piles of dirty laundry and plush animals, when it hits him. Duke's voice in his head. 

_You'd just get some kind of symbol on your body apparently. To mark you as the… love interest._

Yawning takes precedence over the jolt of exhausted horror. Kaiba really hadn't seemed any different earlier, but maybe it needed time to take effect. He'll have to keep an eye on him. Joey's last thought before passing out is that he'd been planning on staring at Kaiba for at least ten minutes anyway. 

***

Rolling into first period two minutes late, Joey contemplates his conundrum. He's elected not to tell anyone about the mark - he doesn't want to panic yet, it could just be a weird coincidence - but he thinks he should watch Kaiba, just in case. It'll be fun, like a science project when it’s on something he’s interested in - and it’s got the added fun-factor of having to do it in secret. What he's going to do if there's any change is something he'll figure out only if he needs to. In the meantime, it's IT class, which Joey doesn't share with Kaiba so he spends his time being productive. Not productive in the sense of following the lesson plan of course, but in the sense of preliminary research. Joey doesn't have much in the way of romantic experience (shut up), so he uses the internet to help him compile a list of things to watch out for, noting them down in a messy scrawl while hoping no one is paying attention to him. The list goes as follows:

Signs the potion worked:

  1. Remembers what you say, random stuff about you
  2. Looks for excuses to talk to you
  3. Initiates conversation
  4. Makes jokes about being in a relationship with you
  5. Asks to hang out one on one over in group/Pays extra attention in group setting
  6. Plays with hair (note: not v. Kaiba. Peacocking?)
  7. Considers your needs
  8. Offers to drive/pay
  9. Seems nervous/flustered around you
  10. Tells you



Tired of looking through internet pages, Joey stops writing at ten. It's a nice, round number. Some items on the list confuse him. One, two, three, seven, _and_ eight just seem like things a friend would do, but he supposes Kaiba being friendly towards him would be a sign of an altered state of mind so he leaves them. Nine feels a bit ridiculous too - Kaiba, nervous? Kaiba, flustered? It almost makes Joey laugh to think about, and then he can kinda understand why Duke and Ryou did this. It _would_ be funny, if it weren't so awful. Joey imagines Kaiba blushing, and the image is so idiotic it makes him want to giggle as his insides tighten and warm. 

Ten is a bit stupid, Joey thinks. Kaiba definitely wouldn't tell him, it would mean admitting a magic potion worked. As he goes to cross it out, an odd thought comes to him. _What if Kaiba_ actually _like-liked you? Would he tell you then?_ Putting his biro in his mouth to chew on that, Joey is immediately stumped. His first thought is _yes_ , obviously, because Kaiba isn't shy about things. Then he thinks _no_ , obviously, because Kaiba's been insulting him since the day they met, rejecting all profferings of friendship, and it would be like admitting he was wrong about something. Kaiba is a proud bastard. 

Eventually, Joey decides to leave ten as it is. Maybe the potion will give Kaiba no choice but to tell him. The problem is that the potion would just give Kaiba feelings for him, not dictate how he’d show them, and Kaiba isn’t known for acting like a normal person.

Glancing around the room to make sure no one's watching him - they aren't, they all have internet access - Joey bends an arm behind himself to feel the raised skin under his shirt. He'd checked it in the mirror that morning, and it hadn't faded one jot. Still red, still perfect, and the idea if it being an allergic reaction is sounding more and more stupid. Joey shares all his science classes with Kaiba, and he has biology second period. He waits out the seconds feeling his stomach tie itself into knots. 

***

"Hello, Wheeler. You’ve made an easy mistake. _This_ is a biology class at Domino High, you’re looking for the wild animal shelter, which is another two blocks east," Kaiba greets him, and doesn't look up from his new book. Joey can't read the title for this one at all, it's all in German and the cover is blank. Fucking intellectual multilingual bastard. As always, he's got a pen ready in his right hand and a book in his left, and Joey watches as his thumb flicks a whisper thin page. The teacher is even later than Joey is, and no classmate is going to even try to shut them up. 

"Har-har, very funny," Joey relaxes as he sits down. So far, so good, but he feels like the mark on his back is tingling. Probably imagining things. "Maybe _you_ should consider a visit, seeing as you're always frothing at the mouth. Get that rabies situation checked out."

Kaiba flicks another page. "Only when _you_ come near me. That's causation, not correlation, and all the more reason for you to see a veterinarian."

When Joey looks at Kaiba's face the corners of his mouth are threatening movement again. The longer Joey looks, the weirder it gets. Not because it's anything new, but because it isn't. _Only when_ you _come near me_ his brain repeats at him, and Joey doesn't want to examine that statement, but he has to. For science. Or magic. Whatever. The tingling spreads to Joey's stomach. 

He reaches for a smart response but misses and hits miscellaneous noise instead. "Nyugh," Joey says eloquently, and Kaiba looks up at him for the second time in two days. Was it really that easy this whole time? 

"Cat got your tongue?" Kaiba probes, and his brows are slightly narrowed for some reason, like they want to frown but Kaiba isn’t letting them. "I heard you had a rivalry with the species." God, he's really on the ball with the dog jokes today. 

"In that case, go chase a laser-pointer you… kitten," Joey manages, and hey, Kaiba _is_ kind of cat-like, all prissy and hissy, and he can't believe he never thought of that one before. Truly their rivalry was meant to be. 

Kaiba bristles, like the cat that Joey now realises he is, and turns back to his desk. "Chase sticks, mongrel," he spits out, and that's a more volatile reaction than usual. Shit comeback, too.

Naturally, Joey pokes at it as he gets out his pens. "Sure, kitten," he teases, and Kaiba's hand grips his book a little tighter, but the teacher finally arrives and commands Joey's attention before he can look at Kaiba's face. When he sneaks a glance back, he could swear he catches Kaiba in the process of looking back down. 

As subtle as he can, Joey gets out his list, using his arm to shield it from Kaiba on the off-chance he gives enough of a shit to look at what Joey's doing. Joey's eyes are immediately drawn to number three: _initiates conversation._

Kaiba definitely initiates that a lot. But that's the thing, it's not new behaviour, even if Joey's never thought of it like _that_ before. Kaiba's been doing that for… Joey isn't sure how long. He bites his lip, and eventually decides to cross it off the list instead of giving a tick or a cross. They're not helpful metrics for judging if Kaiba is under a spell if he already does them. 

He does, however, put a question mark by number nine: _seems flustered_. 

***

At lunch, Joey sits with the usual suspects. Not wanting to seem suspicious, he waits for someone else to bring up the topic of Kaiba for once. Luckily, Yugi is a reliable friend, and as he starts on his second PBJ he asks, "Has everyone been keeping an eye on Kaiba? He certainly doesn't seem any different."

Téa hums thoughtfully. "Yes, but I think we'd have to see how he acts with Joey around to properly judge. I sit with him in literature, but it's not like he's talkative."

That confuses Joey a little bit. "What do you mean, not talkative? He's always harping about something!" 

Frowning, Téa turns to him. "Well, yes, at tournaments and things, but he doesn't talk in class. Right guys?" 

"Well, we exchange pleasantries, but we don't chat," agrees Yugi, much to Joey's confusion. 

Tristan and Duke are the only ones who share classes with Joey and Kaiba at the same time, so Tristan adds his observation. "He always needles Joey at the start of every class," he informs the group, "but you're right, he doesn't talk to anyone outside of that."

"It's annoying," huffs Duke, and Joey glares at him. He doesn't think Duke should ever be given permission to speak, but especially not now. Why the hell is he still allowed to sit with them? Ryou is off at a respectful distance until Joey cools down, and _he'd_ actually apologised when Joey had seen him in the morning. Said he didn't know what he'd been thinking. But Tristan gets upset if they leave Duke out of things, so the asshole stays. 

Still, Kaiba doesn't talk to any of them? Joey doesn't know what they'd talk about, but given how much Kaiba snarks at him he'd assumed there'd be some kind of dialogue between him and everyone else. Everyone is looking at Joey now, and usually he loves attention but he doesn't appreciate it right now. "What?" he asks defensively. "You all know he can't stand me, I guess he just can't help himself."

"I guess…" says Tristan, and they all turn to stare at their food in creepily perfect synchronisation, with the exception of Yugi, who fixes Joey with with an analytical look, hand on the millennium puzzle. Probably discussing the situation with Yami, and Joey grits his teeth as he braces himself for potential pharaonic wisdom. Yami's a friend, of course he is, they’ve been through a lot together. But he's also intimidating, sort of a prick, and Joey never knows where he stands with him. There's an undertone of judgement in everything Yami says that Joey doesn't think he's imagining. At least Kaiba is straightforward with his derision - he might be a dick, but he's honest about it. 

Thankfully Yami doesn't make an appearance, and Téa restarts the conversation with enthusing about some new DDR game at the arcade on the pier, suggesting that they all go after school, and Serenity can come too. 

Joey's mind drifts to his list, to number two: _looks for excuses to talk to you_. Are merciless insults an excuse for talking to him? Calling it merciless insulting is a bit harsh, Joey corrects himself. They used to be, but Kaiba leaves the more sensitive subjects alone now, unless Joey hits something sensitive himself. It's an unspoken agreement: Joey doesn't bring up Kaiba's family issues, and Kaiba doesn't bring up Joey's. Still, Kaiba could just start a conversation without being an asshole, but from the sounds of it he doesn't really start conversations with anyone else at all. But again, that's not a change in behaviour, that's just what Kaiba is like, so Joey resolves to cross that off the list too. Not at the lunch table though. He doesn't want to have to explain the list to anyone and have them worry over potentially nothing. 

Joey suggests they invite Mokuba to hang out at the arcade too. Him and Serenity get along, and it'll be nice for his sister to have someone of her own age around. Plus, Kaiba might accompany him, and Joey can see about evaluating number five. Possibly eight too, if they get food. Just to evaluate him, mind. That's the only reason. 

***

Joey doesn't actually sit next to Kaiba in math, Tristan gets that privilege, but they trade insults before they take their seats at opposite ends of the back row. The girl who usually sits next to Kaiba isn’t present, and Joey briefly considers sitting in her space, but decides that'll look too suspicious. If animal documentaries have taught him anything, it's that he needs to observe while being unobserved himself. And observe he does, now with less of a barrier in the way. 

"Hey, he's not reading some random other smart stuff for once," he marvels to Tristan, who hums and looks up from his quadratics. At his confusion, Joey nods his head in Kaiba’s direction, and Tristan turns to look briefly but clearly doesn’t understand what he’s talking about. “He’s just doing his work!” Joey says incredulously, trying to keep his voice as low as possible. “He’s not multitasking, reading about Neish or some shit.” 

“What the fuck is ‘Neish,’” Tristan says in what should be a question but doesn’t sound like one.

“You know,” Joey waves his hands in a gesture that he hopes communicates intellectualism, “Neish! The German guy that he’s really into. The one that killed God or something.”

“Oh, you mean Nizsh,” Tristan corrects him. “Kaiba’s into that? Makes sense, I guess.”

“Yeah. I swear he’s always reading something irrelevant in class, and it’s something Nizsh related half the time.”

Tristan looks over at Kaiba for a second, then back to Joey. “Is he? I’ve never noticed him doing that, not in math or advanced math at least. I can’t exactly see him in science though, he does that in science? Weird. You’d think he’d pay attention, at least in physics.”

It _is_ weird. Kaiba’s too far across the room for Joey to really watch in math, but he’d assumed he’d be the same. Joey opens his mouth to explain that Kaiba’s not _not_ paying attention, he’s always making notes as well, but then he realises that’s pretty weird too. Maybe he’s bored but doesn’t want his grades to slip, but that doesn’t make sense with how much of a nerd Kaiba can be. Maybe in bio or chem, but physics? No. And with the way Kaiba’s pen always works furiously, it’s not because he finds everything too easy, either. The image of a swan with Kaiba’s hair drifts into Joey’s mind unbidden; graceful, elegant above the water, little legs paddling furiously underneath. And then he opens his mouth and hissing and honking noises come out. Joey snorts. 

He also resolves to ask the others about Kaiba’s reading habits in their classes, which he does as they exit the school gate on the way to the arcade, Serenity meeting them there. When Kaiba was caught and asked if he’ll join them with Mokuba, he’d grumbled an affirmative before leaving to pick up his brother. “Hey Yuug, Téa, does Kaiba read random shit in your classes too?” he questions them.

Yugi looks confused and shakes his head, Téa mirroring his motion. “We sit together in literature, and he does work for KaibaCorp if the lesson is slow, but other than that he doesn’t read unrelated material,” she informs. “He does that in your classes?”

Duke snorts. Great, he’s here too. “He’s probably not actually reading them,” he says, and Joey feels the urge to defend Kaiba’s honour, but then Duke adds, “just showing off,” and Joey immediately thinks of number six, _peacocking,_ and can’t say a word.

He’s contemplating the concept all the way to the arcade, and is still stuck on it while watching Serenity and Mokuba compete at skee-ball. Mokuba is developing quite the competitive streak, which isn’t surprising seeing as his big brother is currently giving it his all against Yami at air hockey. Despite protesting that he didn’t really want to join this ‘troupe outing,’ Kaiba has decided to stay to ‘keep an eye on Mokuba.’ He spent all of two minutes trading insults with Joey in greeting, ignoring everyone else (number five: _pays extra attention in group setting_ ) before challenging Yami to best him in any game of his choice. 

Joey stops contemplating his list for a minute to watch them both flail about. Yami is having to work for the win the way only Kaiba can get him to do, and Kaiba will probably break the table if he keeps playing with that amount of force. He’s putting his whole body into trying to beat the unbeatable spirit. Joey would like to spin some long metaphor about the tragic fight of man against fate, but Kaiba’s panting from exertion with his shirt sleeves rolled up, yelling, his hair getting all out of place, so Joey just watches him instead. It’s not a bad look on Kaiba, Joey decides. Not bad at all. 

The sound of Serenity crowing in victory snaps Joey out of his reverie, and he cheers for her before going back to his secret task. If Kaiba really only does his weird and impressive multitasking display when he sits next to Joey, it sure does sound like he’s showing off for him. How Kaiba got this particular idea of how to impress Joey - if that really is what he’s trying to do - is a mystery. Admittedly, it does work. Maybe. Joey _might_ be impressed. Damn it. If Kaiba’s really trying to show off for him, that’s another thing on the list that Kaiba already did. 

Joey sneaks another look at Kaiba, whose arm is moving almost faster than the eye can see, completely absorbed in attempting to thrash Yami (whose arm _is_ actually moving faster than the eye can see). With Serenity and Mokuba moved to Whac-A-Mole, Téa and Duke engaged in fierce DDR battle while Tristan cheers, and Kaiba and Yami obviously occupied, Joey is satisfied no one will be watching him. He gets out his list and a biro, and does something that feels insane to him, but he also feels like he has no other option. Joey crosses out the title _signs the potion worked_ and replaces it with _signs Kaiba likes me_. Joey ticks off four points and stares at them, these odd behaviours Kaiba does constantly and he’d never thought about before.

The tingly feeling is back, worse than before, all over Joey’s chest as well as the mark and his stomach. His gaze flicks back up to Kaiba, who looks like he’s about to leap over the table and throttle Yami with his bare hands. Maybe five is actually a bust, thinks Joey numbly, and feels inexplicably disappointed as he watches Yami claim victory. Yami goes to shake hands with Kaiba for a game well-fought (yeah, Yami’s sort of a prick. He knows he physically can’t lose).

“An excellent fight, Kaiba,” Yami booms as he grasps Kaiba’s hand, and it says a lot about Kaiba’s progress in personal skills that he allows that now. “Perhaps we could contest in some other battle, say, the Dance Dance Revolution machine? Téa speaks of it with great approval.”

Competitive dancing would be an interesting thing to see Kaiba try, but what’s even more interesting is his refusal. Specifically, the manner of his refusal. “Not being very attentive to your _friend_ ,” Kaiba says the word like a curse, “are you?” And then he gives a pointed look at Joey, who had assumed Kaiba had completely forgotten he was there. He thinks packing the notebook away so quickly after they look at him might cause suspicion, so he flips to a page that looks somewhat respectable - it has doodles of scapegoats but also a few attempts at math. 

“Ah, Joey! My apologies, I had forgotten you were here,” Yami says, and does actually look a little sheepish. “Not playing anything?”

Joey shrugs. The electronic arcade games are fun and all, but they’re not that interesting without a live opponent. Plus he needs to persevere in his KaibaWatch™. But he can’t tell anyone that, especially now with the new adjustment. “Nah, no quarters,” Joey tells them, “working on my math instead.” He wiggles the notebook for emphasis. Damn, he’s good.

“A shame,” says Yami, and reaches into his pockets, only to find them empty. He glances at Kaiba, and is evidently left disappointed by what he sees. “I shall go watch the Dance Dance Revolution contest then,” he decides, and drifts off. Yugi doesn’t need to carry change because Yami doesn’t actually have to pay for any of the games, Joey knows. The machines just let him on anyway, but only him - he can’t use the power for anyone else. They’ve tried. Joey watches the spirit go, trying not to be bitter. Yami didn’t ask to be like this, he just… is. Well, maybe he did once, but if he can't remember that life at all, it wasn't really him was it. Just some old, dead, nameless pharaoh who no longer exists. Yami was nameless at first, but he's not now. 

Then Joey looks back at Kaiba, who’s eyeing him with a blank, unreadable expression. “Math,” he says flatly, and it takes Joey a few seconds to realise it was a question. 

“Yeah, I’m… I’m not doing so great in it,” Joey admits, because it’s easier to lie using the truth. 

Kaiba scoffs. “That is hardly surprising. You spent the entire lesson whispering to Taylor today, it’s a wonder that you have enough scribbles in that notebook to fill even half a page.”

“Hey, I don’t talk _that_ much,” Joey protests, and the tingles make themselves known again at the implicit admission that Kaiba had been paying attention to him from the other end of the row. “It’s just hard, is all! And the teach goes through everything so fast in ten minutes and then doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the hour!”

Kaiba seems to actually consider this. “The part of the curriculum we are currently studying is hardly advanced, but it is true that the teaching staff are abysmal. I could probably teach everything you’re having trouble with in half an hour,” he says with derision in his voice, rougher than usual from all the taunting and raging at Yami. It’s as dismissive as ever, classically insulting and an unsubtle brag, but…

“Are you… offering to coach me?” Joey questions, perplexed, and hopes his tone is more simple surprise than wonder. He hopes he can keep that tone casual when he prods, “‘Cause I gotta say, with shit like that I’m gonna start wondering if you actually like me.” He lets out a short laugh afterwards, so Kaiba doesn't get too offended. 

It’s as subtle as Kaiba’s bragging, and it gets Kaiba bristling like he had in biology class. “Don’t be a moron, moron,” he backtracks, brows furrowed, “I don’t have time to herd lost sheep.” It’s hard to judge with Kaiba sometimes, but Joey is sure that he sounds defensive. Then he taps the air hockey table. “Well?”

“Well, what?” Joey asks.

He’s blinked at for his trouble. “Well, are you going to challenge me and then moan when you get your ass handed to you?” Kaiba elaborates, clearly irritated, and it’s a bit petulant actually. 

Joey thinks back to Yami forgetting he was there, and Kaiba remembering. How he’d claimed not to have change and Kaiba has a hand in a pocket, wrangling _him_ into a game instead of Yami. And how for a second Kaiba had offered to help him, in his own, prissy way. He’s going to have to tick off five, seven ( _considers your needs_ ), and eight ( _offers to pay_ ). That’s six ticks. More than half.

He grins, and jumps to attention at the other end of the air hockey table. “Bring it, moneybags,” Joey accepts, and tries not to get his ass handed to him. The warm tingle all throughout Joey's chest distracts him the entire time, intensified by the battle-gleaming intensity of Kaiba's eyes, the novelty of his messed up hair, the smooth, pale skin on the undersides of his forearms. The curve of that stupid smirk he always gets when he's dueling Joey, and only Joey. 

Despite all of these distractions, Kaiba still has to work for his eventual victory, and Joey wonders if it's because he was distracted too. When they shake hands, Joey says "Good match, rich-boy," because he thinks 'kitten' might be pushing it. He uses the same intonation though, and Kaiba's face means he can definitely tick off number nine. 

In bed that night, Joey entertains himself imagining those intense blue eyes and that smirking mouth focused on him in another context, and giggles at the irony when he remembers Kaiba's comment about him moaning. He vaguely realises he has to stop flip-flopping on boys when it's hard to argue with the mess afterwards. 

***

The next morning, it's Friday, and everyone at school is looking forward to the weekend. Joey has two more lists in his notebook. He's checked his back in the mirror, after he'd gotten up early to get himself showered and clean in a newly laundered uniform on a Friday, and the mark is gone completely. Joey still has the Polaroid from Serenity though, tucked into a pocket. 

He's managed to get into school early for what feels like the first time in his life, and he uses the time to get his first question answered. "Hey Yugi," he greets his friend with a bright smile and open arms. 

"Joey!" Yugi exclaims, throwing himself in for a hug with zero hesitation. "You're actually on time! Not even that, you're early!" 

"Hey now, don't rub it in," Joey ruffles Yugi's hair affectionately. It's difficult with the sheer amount of product in it, but he manages. "I have something I need to ask you both, actually," he confesses. Pulling out the Polaroid, Joey shows the mark to him. "This mean anything to you?" 

Yami might not remember his past life, but Yugi's done a fair amount of research, and Joey waits patiently for once as he examines the mark. "The goddess Hathor has often been depicted with a headdress that looks exactly like that," Yugi says, and it's what Joey feared. "This looks like it's on someone's skin. Who?" 

"Uh, mine, actually. Gone now, though!" he assures Yugi's concerned face. "It. Um. Appeared after Kaiba drank the love potion. I think Ryou's been wearing the ring again," Joey sighs. How the hell are they ever going to stop him pulling this shit? 

Yugi looks a little abashed. "We might have come to a kind of arrangement, regarding that. A 'he doesn't try to kill us, we don't destroy him' deal. Apparently Ryou and the spirit are kind of buddies now." He sighs. "I talked to him about it. He agreed the potion had been out of line. But we thought it didn't work?"

Yugi looks puzzled at the conundrum, and then the air changes around him and his eyes shift into something narrower. "Judging by the mark of Hathor, it worked, but Kaiba's behaviour towards you didn't change. Strange..." Yami ponders. 

Joey feels his cheeks warm. "No, no it didn't," he agrees, and then lets out a hysterical giggle, hands running through his hair because there’s one very obvious explanation. "It didn't change at all."

"...Ah. I see," concludes Yami, and his expression is unreadable. "You should talk to him then."

"Yeah, yeah I'm gonna. I've got a plan," Joey says, determined, and is surprised by the awkward pat Yami gives him on the upper arm. 

"Good luck, Joey. Although on reflection, I do not think you will need it," Yami wishes for him in a tone that aims for supportive positivity, but has an element of strain. Yugi re-emerges to express some more heartfelt support before leaving to get to class in a hurry. Watching them go, Joey wonders if he has any more friends being obvious right under his nose. 

Friday is a day where he doesn't share any classes with Kaiba, and the anticipation is killing him. His concentration is even worse than usual, and that's saying something. One of his teachers remarks approvingly on his lack of chatter, which is proof that they really don't understand anything. By lunch his stomach is growling, but his heart is thumping worse, so rather than head to the cafeteria to take his friends' food he heads straight to the old lab. 

Sure enough, Kaiba is there, surrounded by paperwork, a small lunch box, and two thermals of coffee. He startles when Joey comes in and watches warily as he slides onto the stool next to him before he can let himself chicken out. "Hey," breathes Joey, managing to rush the single syllable. "You're gonna work yourself to death, you know," he adds, gesturing to Kaiba's hellscape of small print. 

"And you seem to have a death wish," Kaiba retorts, flicking his pen against the skin between his forefinger and thumb. "I'm working. Go away."

"But you said you'd tutor me in math," Joey pouts and gets out his notebook, flipping to the page he needs. "We don't have to do it all now, just give me ten minutes. To look at this problem I've been having trouble with on my own." 

As Joey slides the notebook over his stomach growls, and Kaiba glares at him before taking the largest, crispest looking apple Joey has ever seen from his lunch box and taking the world's tiniest, daintiest bite. "Ugh, disgusting," Kaiba says as if he is truly revolted, "Here, you eat garbage don't you."

Taking the apple shoved at him and biting into the spot Kaiba had worried without hesitation, Joey finds it to be the best apple he's ever tasted. He's never had an apple that made his whole body warm before. Joey taps on the page of his notebook insistently. "Okay asswipe, can you help me out here?" 

His knee is bouncing hard enough to generate electricity for the entire west coast as Kaiba takes in the page's complete lack of math problems. "What is this, Wheeler?" he hisses, like Joey thought he probably would, so he has seconds to explain before Kaiba attacks him. 

"Okay, well, that potion you drank? It got me paying attention and-" 

"Get out."

"If you could let me-" 

Kaiba sends his stool crashing to the floor as he stands up too quickly. "I said, 'GET OUT!" he shouts at Joey, and he looks scared, blue eyes wide and cheeks even paler than usual. Joey wants to touch them, but he can't. Not yet. 

"Just read the next pages first," Joey requests with his hands up in surrender. He’d known Kaiba would yell at him, because he knows Kaiba, so he planned for this. Joey _can_ think ahead sometimes, when it’s important. "Read the next pages, and then I'll leave."

Taking a deep breath, Kaiba picks his stool up and sits back down. Joey watches his large, elegant, thin-fingered hands shake slightly as he turns the page. He settles into the familiarity of watching Kaiba's eyes flick back and forth as they read, pausing and rereading whenever they encounter something difficult. Only this time, Joey knows what he's reading. The first list is as follows:

Signs Wheeler likes me back:

  1. He always responds when I bait him 
  2. He always challenges me to duels he knows he'll probably lose
  3. He invites Mokuba to things knowing I'll accompany him
  4. He keeps staring at me in class when he thinks I'm not looking
  5. He stares at me outside of class too
  6. Two days ago he stared at my eyes for ten whole minutes, completely by accident
  7. He makes jokes about me liking him
  8. He likes it when he manages to make me flustered
  9. He often seems flustered around me too
  10. He's telling me



The second list is somewhat longer, takes up more paper, and is titled _Things we could try doing together_. Some of it is a little risque, but not all of it. Number sixty-nine is _make a blanket fort_ with a little smiley face drawn next to it. Joey had fun writing it, a lot of fun thinking about it, and thinks him and Kaiba could have even more fun trying some of it out. He watches Kaiba make his way through the lists, mouthing as he goes, like he can't believe what he's reading, and hey, that's a blush. It doesn't look as idiotic as Joey had imagined. Well, it does, but in a really nice way, and it makes Joey’s insides tighten and warm with the knowledge that Seto Kaiba is blushing and he did that. Joey _fucking_ Wheeler did that. 

Joey swallows down another bite of apple, clears his throat, and aims for confidence. "You can tick off all the things that apply. Uhm. So. Do you still want me to leave?" He misses by miles, but there's nothing wrong with a little humility. 

Kaiba doesn't look up from his reading that he clutches with both hands, and damn, Joey had been on a winning streak with that. "Perhaps I… spoke too soon," allows Kaiba. "You may stay." Then he _does_ look up, and it's like being caught in headlights, in a blazing hot snowstorm, like having someone like you back. "I can solve your math problem with you."

Grinning, Joey leans towards him. "Gonna be honest, Kaiba, I'm already bored of the math roleplay. Acting isn't really my strong point."

"No, that would be nauseating, sappy, idiotic gestures apparently," agrees Kaiba, and grabs Joey by the jaw to kiss him before he can snark back. Rude. Possibly cheating. Joey quickly finds he doesn't mind. 

It doesn't last long, but they're both panting when they break apart. Joey's stomach growls again, and Kaiba rolls his eyes. "Go and eat, idiot," he tells him, "If you're done before the end of lunch, I'll still be here when you get back."

Joey considers it. He _is_ hungry, but he also doesn't want to spend a second of the hour that they have away from Kaiba. Sure, he could wait ‘til the end of the day - it’s a Friday after all - but who knows how much time Kaiba will have later. Joey doesn’t have the patience anyway. "Or," he suggests with an elongated vowel, wrapping a hand around Kaiba's, who actually lets him, "you could pack all this shit up and come and eat with me?" He knows it's a big ask so early in their relationship ( _relationship_ , Joey thinks with a thrill), but Joey is a pushy person and will always try and shoot for more. 

"No, I need to finish this," sighs Kaiba, as expected, but doesn't pull his hand away. "It can't wait."

"You're the CEO, doesn't it kind of have to wait for you? You're the boss, the head honcho, number one, the Godfather, Lord of the Rings-" 

"And you’re very annoying. I see your point," Kaiba interrupts him and stares at the papers for a long minute. And then, to Joey's astonishment, he gets up and starts packing. "It is a good one." At Joey's gaping mouth, he levels a matter-of-fact look. "I seized control of this company when I was fourteen. If anyone wants to complain about a few papers being slightly less early than usual, I will reassure them that I am still very capable of destroying them in an instant."

"You know, you're kind of hot when you're scary," Joey says with a whistle. 

Kaiba preens slightly as he straightens his stack of paper and tucks it into his briefcase. "I'm more than 'kind of' hot all the time. Are those big brown eyes of yours actually functional or are they just for decorative purposes?" he asks with a smirk as he begins to sweep from the room. 

Even when he's giving compliments he's mean, and Joey refuses to swoon as he follows him into the corridor. "So, Seto," he says, because he's not done being pushy, not by a long shot. The name feels strange in Joey’s mouth, but he could get used to it. "Lunch?" 

Seto startles at the address, and then a tiny smile cracks across his face and leaks into his eyes. "Yes, Joey," he responds in his deep, gravelly voice as he struts towards the cafeteria, and Joey can definitely get used to hearing that. "Lunch."

**Author's Note:**

> i love to write tooth rot with weenie bits of character study thrown in
> 
> I hc that duke/otogi has an extremely unrequited crush on Jou. not because of the dog thing, but just because of when jou duels marik and renames the lava golemn's attack to "Jounouchi fire!" and otogi is blushing (i s2g) when he says "Jounouchi fire's really cool!!!!".... its not cool. youre just gay. 
> 
> then he displaces said crush onto jou's lil sister and jou hates him even more. tragic
> 
> in case ur interested, my tumblr is dominocity. hope u had fun!!!


End file.
